"Aaj main candle nahi jalaaoongi"

Aaj main candle nahi jalaaoongi,

Jal jal ke pighal gayi hain kayi candles,

Aur saath hi pighal gaye, bade shehron ke buland darwaaze,

Nahi pighle jo, hain kuch bigde dil yahaan,

Barson se liye, aankhon mein, nafrat ke angaarey,

Dhadhak ke hain laal, jo badle ke laave se,

Riste rehte hain, kishton mein,

Anayas hi de jaate hain, apni naraazi ke kuch zinda, kuch murda saboot,

Zinda murda ho jaate hain, aur murda khabar bankar,

Agle din bade kaale aksharon mein,

Meri subah aur kaali kar jaate hain.

Pichhli baar jab maine candle jalaayi thi,

Socha tha... ki jin dilon ko insaaniyat garm nahi karti,

Unhe woh shaayad kuch raahat de,

Mere saath tum bhi toh the, us bheed mein shaamil,

Jahaan ghairon ne bhi, wajah se rishte banaaye the,

Aadhe jhuke hue the wahaan, raeeson ke bhi parcham,

Aur gareebon ne jholi bhar ke aansu lutaye the,

Aaj phir sane hain khoon se, pade hain sadkon pe, school ke baste,

Chhide hain goliyon se, kuch nanhe paak zehen,

Gine nahin, par aadhe kaafir, aadhe mazhabi honge,

Par ab murda hain, toh koi mudda hi nahin.

Mat chhuo, pade rehne do, in pighle hue lawaaris armaanon ko,

Jaise ghar jaane ke baad, pade rehte hain peeche.. pighle mom ke kuch pulinde,

Jab chhant jayenge mitti mein, jo hain ghair mazhabi badan,

Aur reh jaayenge fakat mazhabi, 
Tab shayad pehchaan hogi, apne hi mustakbil ki,

Gussa shayad phir thanda ho!

Aaj tum candle mat jalaana,

Iski law se aur na uble, ruthe huye dilon ki fitrat,

Jal jal ke pighal gayi hain kayi candles,

Pighla sake bigde hue dilon ko koi,
Sard ho aahein, garm kare in mein jazbaat,
Main woh gunguni shama jalaaoongi,

Par main candle nahi jalaaoongi.

"The Feather under the Hat" #33

Feels like a long time. Being away from writing doesn't really help. The emotions do dwell, the words continue to take shape and remain bottled up waiting to be released and revealed to the outside. But again, they get mingled and exhumed in the scarcity of time, list of priorities in the world of appearances, relentless desires, the usual. So after this long time I thought of starting at the same place where I left it - the hidden lessons in my routine stricken mundane life, and others around me, the Feathers. That, contrary to the other material possessions, are safer when shared and dispersed, worthless and forgotten otherwise.

'I' am important to me. 'I' is pretty, good to everyone, jovial, kind, sensitive, principled and impartial. Yet, is misconstrued by the peers as self-seeker, quick tempered, moody, unfriendly, domineering and a non-conformist. The difference here is in the self and others' perception and more often than not, is not merely a misunderstanding. And while I do not have an outright solution to make them both concur on the preferable image of one's own, I only intend to insist that its recognition is as important, as one's priority of creating, maintaining loving and peaceful relationships with other people. If you agree with me, you may want to follow some of this in order to resolve a problem, on immediate recognition of the difference:

1. 'Acknowledge' the difference.
2. Take an impartial stand in every instance of 'encounter'. In a discussion, appreciate on genuinely good suggestions, but do not criticise, condemn or complain.
3. Improve communication, personal and public - The lack of it spirals and populates the difference.
4. Avoid sounding desperate. Remember that everyone craves (note, not needs but craves) 'love and peace'. Don't overdo the 'Hi', 'Sorry' and 'Thank you', just be your regular nicer self and define it as 'Neutral'.
5. Lastly, absolutely not let the history of conflict intrude. Look at everyday and everyone as 'New'. It's important to forget the bad days, remember the good ones, and make the next one beautifully memorable.

I'm not a Sage and I often falter on the above (more than you think!). I can't be a fake, smile when I am hurt or angry, or make everyone fall in absolute awe of me. And quite frankly, I would just like to be surrounded by loving friends and family. But with my other relationships, I would like to maintain the peace, civility and order, not only to avoid confrontations, cold wars and so that they don't prick me in my sleep, but also since you know, 'I' is a good human being (wink!) ;).

 

Suno!

Suno. Ruko.Yahaan. Main hoon.. Main hi hoon!

Chupchaap aaine mein main tumhara ‘aks’ hoon,

Yun toh tum aur main rahe hamesha baraabar,

Par faasla ye hai ke be-awaaz reh gaya,

Gham aur khushi tumhari pe mera hai sab nirbhar,

Aitbaar toh kiya magar aitraaz reh gaya,

Ye aaj hi ki hai baat ke himmat hui hai kuch,

Pehli hi baar ki hai ye koshish maine sach much,

Kehna jo chaahta hoon, chhoti si baat hai,

Main kya bada kahoon, meri kya majaal hai,

Tum nahin par tum jaisa dikhta zaroor hoon,

Badle mein bewafa khushi ke par bikta nahi main hoon,

Shohrat nahi chaahta par zameer par guroor hai,

Saath rehkar bhi raha ajnabi, kya mera yeh kusoor hai?

Laute ho jab kabhi bhi tum zara aur bik kar,

Gire badan se hain kayi hisse mere bhi tootkar,

Kehlaya nahi par janam se rishta mera bhi tha,

Bhooli bisri kahaniyon mein ek lamha mera bhi tha,

Yun jab kabhi bhi tum palat te ho tasveerein purani,

Chhoti badi khidkiyon mein dikhti hogi ek shakl jaani pehchaani,

Woh shakl hai wahi magar badal gaya main hoon,

Tumhari galtiyon mein main ulajh gaya sa hoon,

Suno zara ruko, yeh main tumhara ‘aks’ hoon,

Aage nikal gaye ho tum, fisal gaya main hoon.