Wednesday 26 December 2012

"The Feather under the Hat" #32

26 December 2012

“The Necessary and the Unnecessary Companionship”

The sufferings of life, as rightly explained by the concept of ‘Karma’, a person’s performance of his duty, are inversely proportional to the amount of perseverance and good intention he commits to his life. But I believe often people end up reaping the pain arising out of the ‘Karmas’ of the ruined company they keep. It’s a hard fact that how often the wrong kind of companionship results in depriving people of the goodness of life.

 
“The practical aim of a companionship is to benefit from it, concurrently towards performing one’s sacred duty – Dharma
 

Tuesday 18 December 2012

"Draupadi"

Lost in my own nightmare that I am, Krishna find me,

Persecuted for being in my own body that I am, Krishna rescue me,

Consequentially bartered amongst, out of the devil’s inexplicable aggression and leisure,

The devil you constructed to protect me and provide,

Tough, arms well built, the one who you bestowed upon the robust muscles.

Cut in pieces, ripped off my self esteem every day, for satisfying the man,

The man you created to complete my incompleteness,

Who I conceived, nurtured, and dutifully fulfilled at every step.

I was his wife, who he put up for sale, in return for his fake grandeur,

In the hands of the sly.

I was his sister, who he undressed in public, as the reward of the game,

And didn’t identify.

I was his daughter, who he banished and dismissed, for the love of his sons,

And couldn’t justify.

All the while, with my eyes closed, I remembered you,

I resisted.

I prayed my hands folded, holding on to the faint memory of that one time you saved me,

And he persisted.

The soreness of my wounds, doesn’t impress anymore,

The redness in my blood, hasn’t remained alarming enough,

Not to him, and I suppose not to you too,

You’re a man too, after all,

And this world… is the man’s world.

Friday 14 December 2012

"The Blessing" and the "Good advice" - By "Maa - si"

To  Suruchi

Aishwaryam—my abode for the past eleven days.

Never have I been so involved with a single event in my life,

Except my own wedding…

Suruchi, you are the daughter I never had…

Beautiful, caring, sweet and rebellious,

Independent, bold and your own person in so many ways…

Defying your mother just like I have done all my life…

May you find happiness in myriad ways and grow into a lovely wife,

And a caring daughter-in-law.

This is the blessing the whole world will give you…

But I would say it differently…

I would tell you to…

Take a stand for things that matter to you,

To be independent in your views and not just an echo of your other half,

To be ambitious and to follow your heart…always,

To not be judgemental and look at people in all shades of grey,

To be indifferent to selfish people, false pretentions and hypocrisy…

To be self-reliant today and always,

And finally to find happiness in ways that matter to you.

Bless you both, with all my heart.

- Gauri Misra

Monday 12 November 2012

"Your Dream and Mine"


The little mercies of life, are best acknowledged,
When they no longer remain,
The apparent greatness in the luxury to the eyes,
Nothing but a misjudgement in absolution, in vain

In the middle of all the merry-making,
Gala celebrations, and all the cheery laughter of the crowd,
Your wonderful company has become a dream,

But we will smile, and we will laugh,
As you would have wished for us in this time,
And also for we believe, that you’re around still,
in the hiding, dancing in the joyous moment,
Welcoming with us, my knight,
You wouldn’t disappoint, would you? J


Dad, I’m dreaming of you now, 
as I walk,
and I know the one that you dream, 
that I'd walk,

Take my hand in yours,
And walk me there; walk me to the aisle,
Walk me... to our dream!

Monday 5 November 2012

"Good fences, make Good neighbours"


Dear Significant Other,

It’s true that I love you, and I know that you love me too. But you and I weren’t meant to be joined at the hip no matter how much we think we love each other. Love doesn’t mean being together 24/7.
When we’re together, I have a wonderful time. However, you insist that you want to see me almost every day, and that’s just a bit too much for me. I appreciate the fact that you’ve gladly chosen to share each of your waking moments with me, but in return you’ve presumed that I would similarly cede in mine. I adore your company, but I need my space to dream, create and to experience my own boundaries.
Excuse me for the unexpected intervention in this beautiful journey of love that we’ve promised to pull up till the end. I only wished to break away from the mistaken notion of love to think, that love means trying to possess, or to own the one you love. Because while you grew on that misconception, and I continued to mis-service you, you took away my freedom to be an individual.
Recall the time, when we’d met. You were elated with my sense of individuality and my independence. You respected my schedules and timelines/deadlines but never asked for full reports, offered help but never imposed, shared secrets but never pestered, wiped my tears but never asked the reason behind, suggested a proposal but never insisted, gave me your telephone number but never called back on mine desperately, looking for my sign. 


You and I both were happy with the 'attention' that we willingly gave to each other, regardless of what we rendered to our families, peers, co-workers and colleagues. We weren't jealous, rather identified each other with the whole system to which each of us belonged, to the choices that we had made in the earlier past and to those that we continued making in the present, without any complaints.
Our journey up till now has been fantastic without any doubt, and I maintain that I couldn’t have been happier. But believe me when I tell you, it’s heartbreaking for both of us, that while you thought you gave me everything possible in the relationship, it still lacked fulfillment. I guess because in return you took away what was mine – my personal space.

And before you could ask me the conspicuous question - I’ll answer it beforehand – No. It’s not true that I no longer care for you. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship, at least not right now – But only if you could shed your fears and care enough to really understand what I mean when I say,
“I want to miss you”

Lovingly yours (Pun intended)

Monday 29 October 2012

"The Feather under the Hat" #30

29 October 2012

Because of you, I failed / could not concentrate / broke up / can’t trust / got injured / rejected / left alone” etc. Or some with real creative thinking invested in like “You have created a monster / a failure / a loser in me. You’ve made my life a living hell. Because of you, I’m not the same happy person, you changed me!  - And many more
People often resort to ‘blaming’ as an outlet to a kind of frustration; that is assumed to be generated by the one who’s getting all the blame in your mind. That’s the flipside of having close relationships. People are highly interdependent on each other, leading to one’s actions/thoughts to affect the other’s feelings and emotions. Further, as communication events are continuous i.e. they are tied to the past, present, and future of the relationship, the very continuity of conflict where each person keeps blaming the other for their negative conflict behavior creates a lose-lose situation - Prolonging the conflict.
Although it is inevitable that people in an interaction become interdependent - that is, each person's behavior has the ability to impact the other - that does not mean that it is ‘one person's behavior’ that causes another person to respond in a particular way. Each and every one of us is responsible for what happens to us at each point in time. It’s imperative to understand the importance and significance of what I term as ‘Given’ in a situation. The definition of ‘Given’ has to be taken in entirety that goes on to include intended or unintended ‘hurtful action’ of the other person (stress on intended/or unintended). One needs to believe strongly in the fact that a person does, exactly what he is supposed to do, because you deserved exactly that.

Now what!
Look for the next best solution, than blaming - A forward course of action, than the reverse. Anything forward, is better than anything backward! J
(Are you hoping I’d give you a further solution? Think better of it, mine will scare you! J)

Thursday 25 October 2012

"The Ungrateful"


Out of nowhere, when I appeared, I didn’t know home,
I vaguely remember waking up, and looking for your hand and smell,
The home wasn’t where I was, it wasn’t like how it is now,
It was the feeling of you being near, that was home

From not picking nose in public, to washing hands after the crap,
The good manners, the ‘hellos’ and the ‘Good days’, would anyone know at 2 otherwise?
Now that I have children who are taller than I, I know how arduous it is to teach with patience & love,
That they unlearn in School & don’t read up in the Civic Sciences,

I wish to not speak of the thousand illnesses, that you warded me off as a child,
By just being close, bringing me food and tender care,
It makes me feel small and dirty, because of all my insensitivities which I do not hesitate to show to you,
Even while I knew, THAT, you would ask out only once,
Out of the thousand other times that you really needed something,

Mother, I am late but still young to become conscious to the fact,
That the time is less than the burden of my thoughtlessness,
You don’t need a mother, I know, but you need your daughter, 
Let me be the one again, I’m not busy anymore,

The ‘Busy tone’ will be for the rest of the world, when my mother needs me!
 

Wednesday 17 October 2012

"The Feather under the Hat" #29

17 October 2012

The gravest and the deepest of your sorrows is the one that will always be very personal. It's impossible to confide it in anyone, because it makes one so low and upset that words won't come out. It only shows in actions, reactions, moods, facial expression and affects the physical, mental and emotional energy. It's important to acknowledge the cause of distress before it starts influencing happy people around, and work on it. Being left alone may answer part of the problem, but to start with, one must start believing in the balance of life. There is no way one can realize the goodness without paying for it in tears. 

This may lessen the feeling of misery and recharge you once again to get on happily with the rest of the journey!

P.S. - For people on the other side, it's important to learn the significance of empathy, and the privacy that one needs especially in relation with their personal sorrows. No one likes to tolerate tantrums, but once you start thinking from the other person's perspective, the whole thing becomes easy on both sides and cools off before you even make an effort!

Friday 12 October 2012

"The Feather under the Hat" #28

12 October 2012

We're humans. We don't just take birth, live on food and die. We love, and that's what makes us different from the other animals. Loving, is the most natural feeling in the world according to me. It comes uninvited, intrigues, embraces and stays forever.

Just like what Albert Einstein said about "Energy", that it can neither be created nor be destroyed, "Love" can not be created as well, it exists inside us, like a latent form of energy. There is no way it will cease to exist, but will only transform.

Ever wondered about the feeling of "Hatred"? It is that transformed energy, which was "Love" till sometime back, but has been influenced by the self created negativity of our thoughts. Similarly, the feeling of revenge, resentment, guilt, fear, anger, anticipation, expectation, pity, jealousy and envy are all forms of love.

I wish we could all make our lives simpler, by truly believing in the power of love.

(Sigh) Easier said than done!!

Thursday 4 October 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #27

4 October 2012

Ever found yourself unhappy for the sole reason that someone else is happy?

Hanging on to other people's happiness, most certainly guarantees irritation, jealousy and unhappiness for our own self. That means, that one may have all the reason in the world to be happy in a moment, and still end up jerking the high tide, all for falling to the feeling of misery arising out of someone else's happiness.

Quite often, people pretend to be happier than they are, to the outside world (we'll come to why's of that later), and here we magnify the sham in our minds & overlook the richness of our own blessed lives. Feeling despaired out of looking at happy faces from a distance is not real, because that's not what you wanted. You wanted something else, and in amidst of the whole misery, you've lost it in your mind.

Happiness is a personal feeling, and it has to come from within. Comparisons and bench marking it with someone else's only dilutes it. People who are genuinely happy are the ones who goal their dreams themselves and achieve them, most importantly, the goals are purely personal and the success too.

"Make your own happiness, and not hang on to the others'. Share it and make it felt across everyone around you.

...and it'll grow"

Wednesday 26 September 2012

"Irritation"

The loud shrill noise, or the inaudible creepy whispers,  (nuisance)

The really early mornings, or the hot sunny afternoons, 

or dismal evenings or the murky nights, (exasperation)

The over friendliness, the vague obscurity, (perplexity)

The crowd or the loneliness,

The tasteless simple, the bewildering complicated, (annoying, can't figure why)

The skeptic nice, or the rowdy turn offs,

The intrusiveness, or the indifference, (frustrating)

The effortless romance, or the constant yearning,

The anguish of loving, or the agony of hatred (impatience)

Irritating!

Sunday 23 September 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #26

23 September 2012

If we really come to think about it, the hurdle of life isn't an option that we can choose to skip, but suffering is. The mind is like the processor of the computer. If you give it the wrong input information, the processing will be wrong and the result will always be an unfavorable one. 

Lets say if I change the input information - A hurdle into a challenge, a problem into a test, and the feeling of distress or despair into an opportunity to slow down and think over. That would mean taking life for a ride and not making it a serious business. (Doesn't the word 'serious' in the hospital slang anyway means someone who's nearly dying?)

The key - The understanding of the factual information has to be changed from the time it gets inside the processor of the mind as 'input information', and hence when the real translation happens, the interpretation of the hurdle is automatically understood as challenge.

But if we choose to continue to think in the way that we've been thinking...
We may just end up getting what we've always been getting!!

PROBLEMS!

Saturday 22 September 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #25

22 September 2012

Principle of business "Never invest in a relationship, the future economic benefits of which, do not exceed the future economic subsistence, with an attractive margin"

Principle of Philanthropy "Never invest in a relationship, with an expectation of a return. The profit if any, is for public, the loss is your own"

Principle of Friendship "Invest your happiness and sorrows, and break even with the friend's, because that's what you get in return"

Principle of Love "Invest everything you have, take all the nonsense, accept continuous rejection, burn your fingers, break your heart, lose focus from everything else that was ever important, cry a river, and die"

Friday 21 September 2012

"Faith"

Stumbled upon a poem that I wrote in the Twelfth grade. The rebellious me finally negated the faith which was so dotingly inculcated in my upbringing by the elders. I don't remember being radically different from the other adolescents of my age, I rather mingled well with the worldly practices in the beginning, but things change as we grow up, and so do the philosophies of living.

All good though!
......

I have never believed in you,
Never had faith

Yet, sometimes when my eyes are closed,
in an effort to feel your presence,
every fear, every doubt flies,
I break free all my ties
......

They all call you 'the almighty',
You calm us all, you remove the anxiety,

And then, sometimes when my hands are raised,
and I look up in the sky,
All my questions seem to die
.......

They say, you made those stars,
the seconds, the minutes, the hours,

And then, sometimes when I look back in time,
to count the many times when I conquered the failure,
I smile
.......

They say you live in those heavens
You gave us our lives in the number of breaths,
and the ones that leave abode, meet you after death,

I have never believed in you,
Never had faith

Yet, when I clasped my hands in the grief of my loss,
and kept them stuck to my heart,
I felt, you were the constant part,
You were with me in it, you were never apart.

Friday 14 September 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #24

14 September 2012

Worry, anxiety, panic, apprehension. Familiar?

Today, while trying to really figure out what to do with my idle mind at the workstation, I bumped into a contemplation of what really triggers 'worrying' to be a part of my daily routine. After much deliberation I eventually settled with a conclusion, that the similarity among the dissimilar issues that we choose to apprehend upon, is always the overstated feeling of 'fear' of something uncertain.

For my fellow finance specialists, in the language of finance, it is the full undue charge of a 'Contingent Liability' on your statement of happiness (aka gains) and upsets (aka losses), regardless of its actual occurrence. And so, an ever curious me, continued to intrigue more into the variety of regular phobias that we deal with at the different milestones in life.

The Infants, as I term them, who appear to me as the ones presumably oblivious to the seriousness of life, their usual worry causes are the curriculum, exams, results and then the trademark 'how many better are out there'. What follows for them may be is the fear of new places, unrecognition, under confidence, fear of limelight. For others, who possess the softer emotions in abundance worry about sharing personal traumas for the fear of them coming out in open, falling in love and then the inevitable break ups.

The little grown ups reach up to a different, more abstract kinds, like the fear of being disregarded, unwanted seclusion and being misunderstood. And the most common of all, fear of attachment, losing the loved ones and the fear of dying, in the pool where even I fall (good or bad, don't know).

To what I've come to conclude is, that when the most animated, real most and the permanent form of fear is the fear of death, or fear of losing someone to death, about which nothing can be possibly done, why make such a row about those which we know will pass on as history. Notwithstanding the fact that there do exist a few really very serious problems floating around in the lives of people, which my thoughts don't mean to undermine, but stress on the 'stop worrying, do something' part of it.

My whole purpose to express this concern in public interest is actually to question whether worrying is indeed a waste of your own time and energy, and that it may be a contingent cost that unnecessarily and untimely reduces the value of the gains from the statement of life.

(Well, so is blogging in your office time, duh!. Do they keep an account of that in some statement?)


(*Wears the glasses, picks up a pen and starts gazing at the screen*)
 

Friday 31 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #23

31 August 2012


History reveals that humans have often let their emotions overthrow the sense of discretion and judgement.

Kaikeyi, the second wife of King Dashrath, alienated Prince Ram from the family to steer him away from assuming Ayodhya's rule, by falling prey to her extreme motherly emotion for her own son Bharat.

In the Bhagwad Gita, the great warrior Arjuna was overwhelmed by his emotions and love for his family members.

An enraged and insulted Shiva, beheaded Ganesha, Parvati's unnatural son, in a row of pure emotion of jealousy and anger.

It's important to be sensitive, but a weakness to be over-sensitive. It's good to pursue a passion, but a mistake to become passionate. You could harbor emotions, and yet not be an emotional person.

The intellect of the mind can be compared to a tall cliff that rises well above the level of the clouds. The clouds gather around the breast of the mountain, but do not disturb the serenity of the peak. The clouds represent the emotions of the mind. The peak, the intellect.

"Conclusively, correct decisions in life are those that are guided by your intellect, and not emotions"


Courtesy - "The Speaking Tree"  - Aug 29, 2012

A good writer never forgets the credits :)

Friday 24 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #22

24 August 2012

Everything else remaining the same, success is purely in genes. Yes, I believe it's hereditary. The more developed the nuts of the throttle, the higher is the jump going to be.

Doesn't necessarily mean that people with feeble backgrounds don't make it big in life, exceptions always exist. But if you've got genes, you definitely have it in you, and they will make you go an extra mile.

The realization is important. 

"A Traffic story"


She had to get dressed quickly. The red and white salwar kurta spread over the couch had an outdated embroidery work on the neck and the border, and a bright pink laced dupatta to go with it. “They will be here anytime”, she thought to herself. Without any delay she sat on the conked out stool facing an old dressing table with a mirror cracked from various ends. As she looked at herself in the largest bit of the mirror, she noticed that the scars were able to be seen easily without having to look very carefully. She took a little more white powder to hide the ones on the neck, the cheeks and the blackened eye sockets, then brought her face closer to the mirror and stared at the wounds again. The powdered lesions looked horribly unattractive, clearly incomparable to her otherwise wheatish complexion. She withdrew, and picked up the comb on the table, while still looking into the mirror, “I will hide it with the dupatta. I will keep the wimple so that they won’t show. They won’t be able to see”. She hurriedly wore the attire and wrapped the dupatta around her shoulders.


On the first thought, she would have appeared too young to be getting married, nothing more than fifteen. She could have been younger too, can’t say.

She turned to the cupboard which was at the other end of the room, went ahead and opened it. In the shelf above was kept a small piece of what would have been a red saree, and a bangle wrapped in it. She took the bangle out from the wrap and pushed it on her wrists. “I miss you Ma”, looking at the bangle on her wrist, she remembered all the times she spent with her mother. They lived in a small village in UP, in a small house near the farms, which though appeared in shreds, was a comfortable shelter to the family of 6, her two brothers, the infant sister and the parents. The ceiling in one of the rooms was run down and dripped in the rainy season, so the entire family had a habit of sleeping together in a single room. The father was a peasant and the mother a homemaker. Her school was far from the village, and the journey to school every morning with friends, Meenakshi and Jyoti was something she always looked forward to.

That was a long time ago”, she thought as she kept the red piece of cloth from where she took the bangle out, back into the cupboard.
It was 6.30 now. The sun had started to set. She went around and switched on all the lights in the room, including that of the bathroom. ~Bang bang~ Suddenly there was loud knock at the door and a harsh female voice startled her, Radha, open the door”. Hurriedly, she reached out to open the door, and a skinny lady in her thirties, dressed in a jazzy pink coloured pajamas below a spaghetti top barged inside shouting at the top of her voice “Have you been sleeping you bitch? I knocked thrice and have shouted five times from the ground floor”. She had a plate with something edible, though scanty, most likely a chapati and dal, which she roughly placed on the stool next to the dressing table. She turned towards Radha, and pulled her hair. Her eyes widened as she looked at her with hatred, “Next time if it takes more than a single knock, I will shave your head and make you look like a joker”.

It didn’t hurt her anymore. She had been burnt, stabbed and strangled in the past too, that was in spite of having to do all the house chores, everyday without complaining. The food was always scanty and the mistress was always upset.

The food used to be insufficient in the village too, but there was mother’s love to take care of the hunger pangs, and there was father’s reassurance that the good times will follow after the harvest. Had that not been the time of crisis, and had they still be living in their old house, things could have been different. “Dad would not have sent me to this side of the city”, she thought and tears dwelled up in her eyes thinking about the time when father had brought her there. She watched him taking the money from the mistress, while she hid behind the tattered curtains. The feeble glance followed him till he disappeared at the end of the street. The little hands of the eleven year old clutched the mother’s bangle wrapped in the piece of her red saree feeling helpless, in a hope that father would come back for her tomorrow. 
He never did.
The night was getting darker, and the lights in the streets were getting brighter. The maids of honor had come out in their balconies, and the guests had started to pour in.

Though, that seemed like a long time ago, she clearly remembered the time when the crisis had set in. It had rained heavily that year, and the river Rapti had changed its course. The small villages along the banks of the river were first to get hit. As the water level rose, Radha’s already dilapidated house and her peasant father’s ready harvest ran down with the gush. Though, the local government had rescued the village promptly and had brought the family to a city shelter guaranteeing full two meals a day, after a week’s time they had nowhere to go. With no land and shelter, and only promises of rehabilitation, the family was left to die on the streets. Few days later, the infant in the family that really could not survive the difficult times, succumbed to her hunger pangs. The times had never been so ruthless.

...........

The money changed hands. The doors opened, and closed. The nerves had now learnt to fall numb. The mind was only accustomed to weave 'dreams' of escape scenarios. The imagination had matured to create illusions galore to satisfy the guilt.

And among the noise of the powerful and the soreness of the wounds, from a distance, she could still hear the faint voice of her mother’s, the sweet lullaby and the messages of hope.

Saturday 18 August 2012

"The Garden of Songs"



रुके  रुके  से  कदम,  रुक  के  बार  बार  चले,  (Mausam)

सिली  सिली  बिरहा  की  रातों  में,  (Rudaali)
दूर  खिड़की  से  चाँद  को  निहार  चले,  (Saathiya)

तेरे  बिना  ज़िन्दगी  से  कोई  शिकवा  नहीं,  (Aandhi)
जाने  क्यों  आँखों  में  फिर,  धुंए  का  गुबार  चले,  (Marasim) 

दिल  ढूँढता,  है  फिर वही  फुर्सत  के  रात  दिन,  (Mausam)
सावन  के  भीगे  दिन,  खतों  में  लिपटी  रात,  लिए  साथ  चले,  (Ijaazat)

दोस्तों  से  झूठी  मूठी,  तेरा  नाम  ले  कर,  दिल  भर  लिया,  (Saathiya)
चुपके  से  यूँ  बातों  में  यादों  की  लिए  बहार  चले,  (Saathiya)

कतरा  कतरा  मिले  थे,  कुछ  पल  तुम्हारे  साथ,  (Ijaazat)
उन  जाते  पलों  में  ये  ज़िन्दगी  गुज़ार  चले,  (Golmaal)

रुके  रुके  से  कदम,  रुक  के  बार  बार  चले

Happy Birthday Gulzaar Saab

(Rendition of few of my favorite Gulzaar poems)

*settles the confusion*

Mansi to me: "Does the daily 'The Feather under the hat' means that we will get to see less of the stories and the poems" ?

Suruchi di: I write twice a month. I'll continue that now. The 'Gyan' will be less frequent. :)

Mansi: (Thank God!) 

Friday 17 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #21

17 August 2012
It’s not important to be amongst the majority always, as it is to be completely convinced of your own philosophy, even if you are hardly followed.
"The number of ‘followers’ that you have, is not good enough a reason for you to prove that you're better than anyone else.

      ...Hitler had a million, Jesus had 12"

Thursday 16 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #20

16 August 2012

Being alive means, being able to feel and go through all sorts of experiences.

And no experience can be unnecessary enough, to not count towards ...who you're finally meant to be.

Wednesday 15 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #19

15 August 2012

Based on purely a personal motivation, or for the benefit of a larger community, a "Purpose" is like a direction, to the otherwise directionless course of life. We're not born with a definite aim in life, but when the time comes, and we identify it, the real journey (whatever is left of it) begins from there.

And it's never too late I guess. 

Tuesday 14 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #18

14 August 2012

Sometimes, when you want things/people around you to change for the better, you need to bring a change in your own self. It could be changing the way you've always thought about it, changing the perspective, changing the point of view. Instead of working your way changing other people's minds, it is better to work around your own.

"The realization, that by bringing about a change in yourself first, every time you want something to change around you, can solve most of the problems that you always thought originated externally, can give you a real high.

It gives a feeling of control, discourages a blaming attitude, and endows the mind with the power to accept"

Monday 13 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #17

13 August 2012

A strong mind is one, that has the ability to remain peaceful and tranquil in times of adversities. I don't claim to be the most unperturbed mind around, but I've picked up practicing concentration in everything I do. Concentration in each and every second, is a form of meditation, an age old technique of regulating one's mind. I'm starting with this.

Disciplined & controlled thinking, using one's cerebral resources with discretion, and an immediate in-built awareness alarm mechanism, when the crap starts to take over. That, along with a strict resolve and ability to abstain, almost guarantees a stronger disposition.

"A strong mind, can accomplish anything"

Saturday 11 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #16

12 August 2012

When I looked back at the end of it, I noticed that I had my share of troubles and good times. As against my wishful desires and my fears, I was given only what I could handle, and not what I want.

So, good that I didn't give up. Because everything was always under my control from the point where it started. I was just unaware.

"The Feather under the hat" #15

11 August 2012

"Past is costlier than the future. Simply because the future depends on it"

Friday 10 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #14

10 August 2012

13th is a scary number, I missed to write by one full day, right after I posted my 13th feather. Spooky :P


"Ignoring" is an art. It refers to "disengaging" from something/someone completely so that it doesn't remain in the mind, and this indeed needs good practice. Parents, teachers have always focused on techniques of involvement/engagement, but what about 'Ignoring'!?

I can teach you 'how to ignore' in three simple steps:

1. Jot down 5 remarkable things (that need your attention really), and 5 things that you want to ignore. Do this on 2 different pieces of paper. (Not necessarily 5 things, but keep the list short)

2. Take the piece with important things and keep it in your pocket.

3. Tear the other piece, vent your frustration out on it, make it a hundred pieces, put it below your shoe, smother it (a shoe with dirt shit below the sole is even better), and then pick the pieces up and throw them behind you (so that you can't see where they flew away)

Do this every morning.


P.S. - Don't hesitate to dump the 'once remarkable, now crappy' :D

Wednesday 8 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #13

8 August 2012

"If you're happy, smile. 
  If you're upset, cry. 
  If you're angry, shout. 
  If you're irritated, be left alone. 
  If you're confused, ponder. 
  If you're lazy, sleep. 
  If you're lonely, meet. 
  If you're sorry, say so. 
  If you fail, try.
  If you win, dance.
  If you don't want something, don't take it.
  If you want something, get up & make it.
  If you hate, walk away.
  If you love, give away.
      
If you feel there are limits, break them and fly away. Because 'freedom' means 'being able to do and say what you really want'

Other wise you're just like a well-fed caged bird"

Tuesday 7 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #12

7 Aug 2012

"Grief is only temporary
 . . . . Happiness is permanent"

Contrary to the popular belief :)

"Beautiful outside"

A regular, ordinary girl that you are, being impulsive, confused and extremely reactive, are some attributes that you were born with. You are not large hearted, and you’re aggressive, self-seeking, extravagant, and careless.
Completely opposite to the usual lead protagonist in a typical Hindi movie, you’re chock-full of flaws and blunders. You lie to escape the truth. You get carried away even with a little bit of luring. You turn your back often on the ones who care about you, to fulfill your self-seeking desires. You shun responsibilities, and blame the organized. You create mayhem and often fail, when you assume the lead.
You pathetically build competition all around you, focus on trivial objectives, and frequently lose it as well. You’re crazy and unwise most of the times, and make the worst of the choices over and over again. You break promises, shatter the trust they have in you, smash their faith, and on top of that, the rectifying resolutions that you’ve made time and again, go down the drain when the self takes over.
You have never valued your word.
You’re incompetent and impotent. Your creativity and imagination lacks innovation. You’re defocused and unmotivated. Your style is fake, unoriginal and you’re constantly living in a false belief. The belief that people adore you, want to be like you, because (my apologies) they don’t. They laugh at your back and do not mind doing that even in your face, but they put up with their pretence, because they don’t want to embarrass you. You’re unhealthy in your mind, and are occasionally violent and sadist. You brutally kill people’s ambitions, step over their shoulders, use them as your professional ladders, play political games, and experience not a trace of remorse, at least not evidently.
You’re an egoist and your ego is filthy. You’re disgraceful in handling rivalry, and always fall short of the expected civilized manners.
You’re beautiful only outside and want to capitalize on it as much as you can. And even if you reach the farthest, the milestone will be bogus, because that’s not what YOU deserve. That’s like selling your body, like a sex worker, or it’s like selling a corpse.

Despite the fact that you’re two faced, ugly inside, and beautiful only outside,
I know someone who loves you.

Monday 6 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #11

6 Aug 2012

It has been useless to pin hopes of good, completely on the basis of being good to one.
“Regardless of the amount of goodness and consideration one offers, a person who is motivated enough to make you suffer, will do that no matter what”
Lesson#1: Reliance on anyone else other than yourself, has a 50-50 chance of working out your way
Lesson#2: Mankind is hopelessly ungrateful
Lesson#3: Always be a Skeptic

Sunday 5 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #10


5 Aug 2012

You can keep your ‘Faith’ in me,

And ‘Rely’ on me, for your entire life,

Because ‘I’ promise, to walk along with you,

And give my ‘Ears’ to you, every time you want me to listen,

And ‘No matter what’ happens, between us or around us,

You’ll be able to ‘Depend’ on me, for anything,

For the Friend’ in me, will be around you, always,

Forever, in body, and in ‘Spirit

Saturday 4 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #9

4 Aug 2012

All of us, what we become, is actually the sum total of our experiences in life. There are all kind of events that happen all the time, leading to some good, and some bad experiences.

Where good experiences are always welcome, the bad ones have always brought an insightful learning to me. When the situations are tough, few of us tend to give up, and the few others just accept the fate, and move on.  But there are a few, who challenge back and stand up, everytime they're tested for their patience and faith in themselves.

And that's exactly what shapes your own personality.

"Good or bad experiences do not matter in the long run,

     ...What matters is the attitude"

Friday 3 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #8

3 Aug 2012

"If I have the sensibility to learn from every mistake I commit,

 If I dare to take up the responsibility for everything that goes wrong because of me,

 If I have the courage to stand up and walk again, each time I fall, and

 If I am capable to understand what needs to change, for me to be a better person,

 Only then, I can change the whole world around, to make it work,

 just as I want it to" 

Thursday 2 August 2012

"Ecstatic blues"

The higher highs, that have followed the lowest lows since the beginning of the cycle, have arrived,

Good time has finally started,

Peak, not yet, but the troughs are far behind,

The wings are wide open again, embracing the blue skies,

The clouds have started to roar in celebration,

It's going to rain soon, very soon!

Wednesday 1 August 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #7


2 Aug 2012

When I was younger, getting a year older on my every birthday used to bring a feeling of pride. The evening party with friends was always a grand affair. There was excessive splurging and a sense of competition among the peers for whose party was cooler.

As I'm growing older, the excitement has started diminishing, and the birthdays haven't remained as charming anymore. Not that I fear wrinkles, or the old age health problems that come with the growing age. But the realisation that there will be less of the beautiful mornings, bright evenings and peaceful nights, less of the moments spent with the loved ones, that will be left in my share from thereon.

The cribbing and the remorsing bit was a waste of time. The comparisons and the sense of competition weren't really important to base my life on. Regretting anything that made me smile, or made others feel happy because of me, was completely unnecessary too.

"Though we've divided it into years, days, hours, minutes and seconds.

     ....Life is still one as a whole, and too short to be wasted being unhappy."

Tuesday 31 July 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #6

1 Aug 2012

I have had gruesome clashes and have often been caught up in classic chapters of drama in few of my friendly relationships. But in course of time, there's this special thing that I've come to believe about them.

"Parting is always bitter, but the memories remain sweet.

      .... That's why we always remember good things in the end, and the bad ones are forgotten soon"

"The Feather under the hat" #5

31 July 2012

In search of the fictional best, I tend to turn my face away from what's really been bestowed upon me. The present reality could be the one that I dreamt of earlier in the past sometime, which eventually came to be true, but now has lost its charm because of the naturally evergrowing human desire.

"Often lost in the dreams, I have failed to see the beauty of the living dream called Reality"

Monday 30 July 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #4

30 July 2012

Being at the wrong side of my own face, often makes me feel that I might be better than the ones who fall in my view. Seldom correct, I find myself constantly judging people on various relevant/irrelevant grounds and certain preconceived ideas.

Having said that, to suddenly act enlightened and radically emerge out of the triviality of life and focus on the higher purpose, is bull crap. So I thought it may be useful to repeat sometimes in my mind, that what really defines one's character is the higher purpose one wants to realize, and the level of perseverance one is putting in.

"Best not to pass a judgment, collect make-believe laurels and act like a clear winner, because there's no race."

Sunday 29 July 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #3

29 July 2012


I remember telling someone a long time ago, that instead of analysing whys and the whats, I just try to look at the problem "from the moon". (What? I just visualised my Geography book in the second grade, where there's a picture of the planet Earth from a distance. I feel like a Neil Armstrong!)


When the problem is 'well-distanced' in the mind, not only it appears too small to be identified, the larger view allows to look at the little bigger pleasures, the huge awaiting responsibilities, and personally, I also take that chance to peep in around and compare it with all my friends and family  (the little jealous freak that you are!) , enemies (I'm sure you have some lovers there!), people I know, people from the past, on the streets, at the crossing (yeah right, who else did you miss? Stray animals may be!). 


The exercise eventually makes me feel better about the present situation (height of sadism!) and I move on. This is exactly what my feather has to say today.


"Moving forward has always been easier for me,
   
         ... Its the looking back that hurts"


(Didn't we already know you were coming down to this, all the way? How predictable and stereotyped!)


"I heard you" :)

Saturday 28 July 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #2

28 July 2012

"Your past is one of the imperfect stories I'd written for you.

          ...If you didn't like it, write yourself in future and end it differently"

Friday 27 July 2012

"The Feather under the hat" #1

The new addition. A meticulous day-wise separation of the never ending, yet inspiring thoughts (inspiring for atleast one person in the world, no guesses), produced everyday in abundance, strictly for leisure reading.

27 July 2012:

"Making up my mind, has been a waste of time.

       ...With each disappointment, I realise, I should have gone ahead with the very first thought"


Any similarity to already published work/works is purely coincidental. Any words/sentences causing hurt to any individual are completely unintended.

Tuesday 24 July 2012

"Metaphorical"

You got me the bat and the ball, to play what has been my favorite game. I'd always fight with you to bat first, because I knew that you weren't interested in the game anyway. You liked my company. I would bat, you would hit the wicket before I complete the run and then... I would bat again.

That day when the ball hit the tubewell and went inside, the usual me created such a nuisance. It was my ball, and it was so important to me. You tried consoling, but does that ever work on me? I pushed the blame on you for having lost my ball, and you started feeling guilty too. It was a pleasure to see you working around making me happy, that's what you always did.

You gave in and jumped to get my ball back to me. The well was deep, the ball had disappeared in the darkness. I had promised I would hold the rope and pull you outside when you find it. You did find it soon enough and then you were climbing up as I held the rope. It took you a lot of time. You had my ball in one hand and you tried climbing up holding it in your underarms. It was difficult.

I was looking down, but the pit was dark and I couldn't see you. And then for a minute, holding the rope in my hands, I looked up where I stood. The backyard of my house, the beautiful trees and our other friends coming from a distance. The dusk, the calling of my mother from the window, and my tired hands, all were making me give up holding the rope.
I seemed to forget my old games, my old ball.
How easy was it to get distracted.

I turned around and the rope slipped a bit. It continuously slipped from my hands and the slip caused a cut on my palm. That, along with your scream from inside the well had shook me I guess. And before it was too late, I turned back around to the well and held the rope back again.

It's disappointing that you had no way to go and I had let the rope go. You would have fallen somewhere, and I would have had no way to know. Yes, the realisation wasn't automatic, it was induced, but it was destined, like all other things in the world.

Now you say you wouldn't come up because you don't trust me with the rope. But my grip is stronger. You feel I would get distracted, but I'm trying to focus now. You tell me it would be difficult to get the ball now, do I care.

I won't turn around now. We have an unfinished game to play, and you'd bat this time :)